[I wrote this piece as a one-off for my Tumblr but I’ll post it here, too.]
Sometimes I still listen to the country music station because it reminds me of you. I was driving and on a whim, I turned the radio to the country station and I heard Till the Summer’s Gone. I don’t remember listening to that song a lot with you, but it hit me hard that night. I only knew the words to the chorus but I sang them like I was clinging to a life preserver.
I hate that you’re this presence that won’t go away. I’m done wanting you, but you’re not as easy to erase as I wanted to believe.
Just because it’s over doesn’t mean I stopped caring.
I know I hurt you. But you’re not innocent in this. I loved you so much. I hurt you. You broke me. I’m lucky that I know how to rebuild.
I’ve always been okay on my own. I worry about you sometimes, even though I probably shouldn’t. You’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. But I think I’m different now. I think I’m colder now. I think I’m harder now. And I don’t know if I can accept love anymore without being cautious.
You wanted to break down my walls, but now I think they’re higher than they ever were before.